Old Moaner Travel
I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list
MSC Bellissima
Date Reviewed: March 2019 Cruise Details: 11 day, 10 night Inaugural Voyage from Southampton to Genoa
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They say you shouldn’t ignore history and it’s advice I should have heeded myself.
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I had my first MSC experience last year and came away vowing I would never cruise with them again, then I saw the opportunity to join Bellissima’s inaugural voyage.
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Maybe last year was a one off and I was unlucky, I thought. An inaugural voyage will be something special, I thought.
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It started well as the check-in process in Southampton was far smoother than in Genoa 13 months ago but that’s probably down to the better organisation of the port than MSC’s doing.
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We boarded a brand spanking new ship, it smelt new and was clean and gleaming.
Arguably too gleaming as the Swarovski encrusted staircases in the main atrium certainly glistened but were they too chavvy and tacky - far too much bling
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Much fanfare has been made of the 260’ long LED Skydome and, yes, it looks impressive but 95% of the time it has a static display, changing occasionally it is visually impressive. However more use could be made of it – it only comes to life three times a day when a much vaunted video display is shown – don’t stop doing anything else to watch one as it is distinctively underwhelming.
Rather than using the video ceiling to its full potential it looks as though the mini-shows, rarely lasting longer than three minutes, have been produced by A-level students as part of a media project.
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If you’ve ever seen the LED show in Freemont Street in Las Vegas you will be bitterly disappointed with this effort …… it may be an idea for MSC to send someone to Vegas to see how the screen can be used to its full potential.
Anyway, I digress, we made our way to the cabin which was easy to find but challenging to get into. Controlled by an NFD card, which doubled as a cruise card, the door seemingly unlocked but resolutely would not open. We tried both our cards several times but were still stuck outside our cabin. Luckily a passing cabin steward appeared and we explained the predicament and he showed us how to open the door.
You present the key, press the handle and basically shoulder charge the door to gain entry ….. yes the door was so tight it was the only way to open it, although it did ease after a few days.
The opposite of this was you had to give the door a hard push or slam to ensure it closed properly.
The cabin itself was very narrow, there was only just room between the foot of the bed and the opposite wall to pass by comfortably.
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The wardrobe was small.
The redeeming feature of the cabin was the bathroom, which was clean and, for a cruise ship, relatively spacious.
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We had to share the cabin with Zoe, who advertised as being your intelligent assistant, I would describe her as Alexa’s dumb, inbred cousin, with learning difficulties. Unless you were enquiring about something that could be sold to you her stock answer was to speak to a member of the crew or the information desk.
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Intelligent she wasn’t, annoying she very much was. Interestingly she was screwed to the desk, presumably to stop passengers throwing her overboard.
The cabin creaked terribly, so much so I woke up more than once thinking someone was walking across the cabin.
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I have never known a ship roll so much, I can only assume the vessel has not been fitted with stabilisers or if it has, they were not working. One night the roll was so bad our beds actually slid across the cabin and all the toiletries in the bathroom fell off the shelves.
Yet despite the obvious bad rolling, despite the first stop in La Coruna being cancelled due to the bad weather we heard nothing at all from the Captain or the bridge, he may as well not been there.
Indeed, the only time the Captain deigned to mix with the passengers was for the photo opportunity. I have to say this custom of being photographed with the Captain strikes me as being odd …… why do it.
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If I catch a train I don’t want a photo with the driver, if I catch a bus I don’t want a photo with the driver, so why would I want a photograph of me with the driver of a ship?
Speaking of photography, MSC seem to have a breeding colony of photographers as you cannot walk more than a few yards without one of the official photographers trying to get you to pose for yet another photograph, which you can buy at an extortionate price. The only place you seemed to be free of the photographers was in the toilets, although they’ll probably set up there next.
Now, a subject dear to my heart, food.
Quality tended to be hit and miss with food ranging from sublime (interestingly in the speciality restaurants) to poor with average being the general standard.
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Portion sizes in the main restaurant can be best described as frugal and, even on special nights, the meals were only three courses ….. some nights we came away from the restaurant feeling hungry.
The individual waiting staff could not be faulted and they worked hard.
Dinner on the first night was absolutely chaotic with massive gaps between courses and wrong orders being delivered. However, it was the first night and such problems were to be expected. In fairness by the third night service was slick and the correct meals appeared.
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For me the biggest “rip off” are their speciality restaurants. Yes, all cruise lines have speciality restaurants, which carry a premium price tag. Having already paid for meals in the main restaurant proper cruise lines like P&O and Cunard will charge a nominal cover charge, usually in the £20 - £30 range to eat in a speciality restaurant, something most passengers wouldn’t quibble at.
We paid €125 for a three course meal in in their Butchers Cut steakhouse restaurant and that was basically going for the “cheapest” filet steak. Yes the quality was good and the service excellent but still a lot of money for basically a steak, especially when you have supposedly already paid for a main meal.
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Of course there is also the buffet, the ruck and maul of dining. MSC is an Italian based cruise line and a large number of passengers on board are, therefore, Italian. Whilst it is generally wrong to begin stereotyping ,this does have an adverse impact on the enjoyment of the cruise …… especially if eating in the buffet.
Put simply, most Italians seemingly have absolutely no concept of queuing, making the buffet a free for all.
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An example, my wife and I were queuing for afternoon tea, one of the plates had only two sandwiches left and as she was about to take one of them this Italian “gentleman” literally barged in front of her and grabbed the two remaining sandwiches. Funnily enough he seemed to be deaf at any attempt to remonstrate with him.
I would like to have thought it was a one off but sadly it wasn’t and such appalling bad manners were more the rule than the exception.
Dress codes seem to be optional, at best. One aspect of cruising I like are the formal nights where you dress up for dinner. With, again what I call traditional cruise lines, the code is strictly enforced. With MSC there is no enforcement whatsoever.
On this cruise there were three “formal” or as they call them “elegant” nights. On the first one I would say 70% made the effort, the second about 30% and by the third one only about 10% made the effort.
On one of the nights I was wearing my dinner jacket and the chap sitting next to me was wearing jeans and an open neck shirt ……. It makes you wonder why bother?
Turning to entertainment and I use the term loosely.
The London Theatre is small for the number of passengers, so much so you have to book if you want to guarantee a place, otherwise take part in a scrum for any remaining seats five minutes before the show starts.
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The shows from the in house team were OK, they were reasonably good singers, although the choreography was limited. What did spoil some of the shows was appalling lighting. There were some horrendous strobe effects, without any prior warning and spotlights, more often than not missed the intended performer.
The other shows were a very clever and funny mime artist and the worlds worse ventriloquist – I’m not sure if he was deliberately bad or was just untalented, suffice to say many walked out and he was almost booed off stage.
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There are a number of swimming pools on board, some quite discreet and quiet, especially the small one at the stern of deck 16.
The aquapark is good fun, especially the water slides, although you do have to sign your life away before being allowed to use the facilities.
We didn’t waste any money on excursions and we didn’t fall for any of the usual MSC cons. For example in Lisbon they were selling open bus tour tickets for the special price of €27, whereas you could buy the very same ticket on the bus for €22 .
They also still operate their big con job in Marseille where they charge €15.99 for a shuttle bus to the city centre and back, whereas if you’re prepared to take a 10 minute walk to the edge of the security area, the city of Marseille provide a free shuttle bus ……. of course MSC forget to tell you this.
So, in summary, a new glittering ship, although it has to be said even after only a week the carpets in the corridors were beginning to look tatty.
It is, however grossly over-hyped and is very chavvy in places.
It is the typical MSC experience where they set out to screw you for as much money as possible and you come away with a feeling of being ripped off.
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